"The Day Consoles Died"

Sung to the tune of "American Pie," by Don McLean

A long long time ago
I can still remember how those consoles used to make me smile
And I knew if I had my chance
That I could be in my vidya trance
And maybe I'd be happy for a while
But E3 oh ten made me shiver
With every waggle they delivered
Bad news for the consoles
Seems games now have a backseat role
I can't remember if I cried
When I saw the ponchos far and wide
Seems all that money was misapplied.
The day that consoles died.

So, bye-bye, to the console divide.
Since the consoles are now casual,
Seems they'll stand side by side.
And them PC boys were lookin' on the bright side,
Singin' this'll be the day consoles die
This'll be the day consoles die

Did you see that Kinect demo?
With a circus and some white ponchos,
Water with a brand logo.
Do you believe in Molyneux?
Can his promise really come through?
Doesn't seem like a guy to look up to.
Now, Reggie, vees in love with him
Their bodies ready on a whim
Hope he brings out some new games
Or vee'll be rectally pained
They're all lonely, teenage, /v/irgin nerds
They need their consoles in other words
But this time they were out of luck
The day the consoles died
I started singin'

Bye-bye, to the console divide.
Since the consoles are now casual,
Seems they'll stand side by side.
And them PC boys were lookin' on the bright side,
Singin' this'll be the day consoles die
This'll be the day consoles die

Now for ten years their francise has grown
Seems now Mictosoft is a casual zone
But that's not how it used to be
Companies made games for you and me.
But then Kotick came to town.
And now he's wearing Nero's crown.
Oh, while we're suffering with sub-par games,
Kotick's completing his greedy aims
Twenty five bucks for a horse
And so sign of a change of course
So while Kotick makes the same mistakes
Playing his games of give and take
We're stuck here watching the streams
The day the consoles died
We were singin'

Bye-bye, to the console divide.
Since the consoles are now casual,
Seems they'll stand side by side.
And them PC boys were lookin' on the bright side,
Singin' this'll be the day consoles die
This'll be the day consoles die

Oh, and there we were, all in one place
A group of gamers, lost in space
With no note of a new release.
So come on, Move, be nimble, Move be quick
Move's gotta be better than this shi(t).
'Cause waggle is the casuals only friend
Oh, and as I watched her on the stage
It was a shame she hadn't come of age.
Skittles had her on the floor
And he was tickling her with his paw
And as this made it onto the net
There was 34 of the young brunette
They cried moar, the stage was set
The day the consoles died
They were singing

Bye-bye, to the console divide.
Since the consoles are now casual,
Seems they'll stand side by side.
And them PC boys were lookin' on the bright side,
Singin' this'll be the day consoles die
This'll be the day consoles die

I met a guy who'd seen the news
And I asked him for his point of view.
But he just grimaced and turned away
So went down to the sacred store
Where I'd played the games years before
But the man there said the consoles wouldn't play

And in the streets the peasants screamed
The hardcore cried, and the casuals dreamed
But not a word was spoken
The motion detection was broken
And the three men I admire most
The Reggie, Gabe and Mr. Hideo
They paused, leant back and laughed.
The day the consoles died
And they were singin'

Bye-bye, to the console divide.
Since the consoles are now casual,
Seems they'll stand side by side.
And them PC boys were lookin' on the bright side,
Singin' this'll be the day consoles die
This'll be the day consoles die

Bye-bye, to the console divide.
Since the consoles are now casual,
Seems they'll stand side by side.
And them PC boys were lookin' on the bright side,
Singin' this'll be the day consoles die
This'll be the day consoles die